If you have 1–3 friends that cover all of these, you’re set. I’m a big proponent of quality over quantity. Without further ado, here are the 20 types of friends everyone should have.

1 — The friend that makes you laugh

They say laughter is the best medicine. In the wise words of the fortune cookie I got with my takeout last week: “The difference between a comedy and a drama is the perspective.” Isn’t that such a cool quote? Sometimes you gotta find the humor in life, and a friend that helps you do that is invaluable. If you are that friend, keep doing what you do. We appreciate you.

2 — The friend that lets you cry

There’s a stigma associated with crying in our society. But studies show that crying actually helps relieve stress. In general it’s quite healthy to acknowledge our negative feelings, which then makes it easier to ultimately let them go. For that reason, it’s liberating to have a friend who will let you vocalize your feelings of distress and lend a shoulder if necessary. They don’t see you as weak, they see you as human.

3 — The friend that likes to talk about the state of the world

A.K.A. the friend that keeps you “woke”. As citizens of the world, it’s important to keep ourselves informed on what’s going on. Because real progress is made when enough people care about the issues. And real bonds are formed when we make the effort to educate ourselves on the plight of other humans. But when it’s 10 AM on a Monday and you already have to deal with the 99 problems in your immediate life, it can be tempting to put the state of the world on the back burner. Which is why you need the friend who loves to talk about their opinions on [insert major current event you probably should be following]. Better yet — have multiple friends who offer different perspectives, some of which may challenge your own.

4 — The friend that likes to talk about the state of the mind

Maybe this one is just me. I love thinking about human psychology. Lately, more and more people have been talking about mental health, and it’s a step in the right direction. I think the best thing a person can do for their mental health is go inside their brain, like deep inside, and dissect the thoughts and beliefs they have about their life and their self. (Side note: I elaborate more on this in some of my other blog posts — definitely check them out if you’re interested.) If you have a friend who encourages you to look inwards, you’re on the path to some fascinating self-discovery.

5 — The friend that holds you accountable

There are multiple friends who fit this role. Like your gym buddy, for example. You can skip the gym and let yourself down. People do that all the time. But you definitely can’t skip the gym and let your gym buddy down. In a broader sense, I’m talking about the friend that motivates you to do the damn thing. The friend that asks if you’re making progress on the project you said you had to work on. The friend that encourages you to go have the tough conversation you’ve been avoiding. The friend that intervenes when you have devoted an inordinate number of hours to [insert video game you’re addicted to].

6 — The friend that makes questionable decisions

This is your wild friend. This friend is the reason you have a tattoo on your [fill in the blank]. This friend is the reason you had to frantically call an Uber at 1 AM because you were lost in the middle of nowhere (shaking my head at myself). This friend worries you sometimes, but let’s be real, they’re the reason you have some incredible stories to tell in the future.

7 — The friend you can talk to for hours

I’m talking about sitting in your car in the parking lot of an In-N-Out, watching the sunset, and just talking about life. Many of my worries about the past, present, and future have been quelled by some good parked-car conversation. Many of the ideas bursting in my head have been inspired by listening to people talk about their experiences, their opinions, and their fascinating insights about the world.

8 — The friend you never talk to

You rarely talk to this friend, but when you do talk, you can pick up right where you left off. There’s something special about a friendship that you don’t have to put any work into. You can be living on opposite sides of the country. The last time you talked to them was a year ago. But they’re still someone you care about, and you know they care about you. Next time they’re in town, you guys can have a hearty catch-up session over lunch. And it feels like no time has passed at all.

9 — The friend that brings out the nerd in you

This is an important one. Everyone is capable of being passionate. Everyone has the potential to succeed. Everyone. Sometimes all we need is a friend to motivate us to actually discover that potential. A friend who values education and critical thinking will help you develop skills that you never would have otherwise pushed yourself to learn. Random tangent: The portrayal of nerds in movies and TV has always interested me. When I was growing up (early 2000’s) TV nerds fit into three categories: the dude with thick-rimmed glasses and suspenders who was there for goofy comedic relief, the smart athletic prep kid who is also kinda evil, and the intelligent shy girl protagonist who gets bullied initially but wins over Kyle/Peter/Damien in the end. I always thought these were such random qualities to be associated with someone who was good at, say, geography. Anyway.

10 — The friend that brings out the child in you

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.” -George Bernard Shaw Do you remember the time in your life when everyone around you started acting older than they were? You’re walking around being a kid and all of a sudden everyone is so ~mature~. And then for the next ten to fifteen years you’re all reveling in your ever-growing maturity, eager to share your abundance of wisdom with someone who’s like, two years younger than you. And then before you know it, everyone wishes they were a kid again. I like the people who remain a child their whole life. Because those people hold on to something that many others lose sight of: how to be carefree. So if you have this friend, learn the ways of the adult-child.

11- The friend that promotes healthy living

Don’t text them after 10 PM because they will be asleep. And they’re gonna wake up at 5:30 and meditate → protein smoothie → gym. They bus/carpool/bike to work and they stand at their standing desk with their trail mix/grapes/multi-grain paleo crackers. Chances are they’re into feng shui. They might actually be onto something. Few of us prioritize our own mental and physical health, but when we do, it makes it easier to finish everything else. So take a page out of your friend’s book. Put your phone down and go for a walk. After you finish reading this.

12 — The friend that holds your hair back when you’re throwing up

Ah yes, the James Arthur friend. So this one is more symbolic, meant to be taken figuratively. Unless you’re a sophomore in college, I see you. This is the friend you call when you messed up. You wasted three days procrastinating. You said something insensitive. You let down your coworker. You texted your ex. You drank too much and now you need someone to hold your hair back in your moment of plummeting dignity. Look, we all make mistakes. So we all need a friend who will help us navigate our way out of our self-inflicted shit, with absolutely no judgement.

13 — The friend that shares your taste in music

Two words. Road. Trip. Or maybe it’s Rave. Slave. Or it’s Broadway. Musical. Or maybe even Wind. Ensemble. I don’t know. Road trip seems pretty universal. Regardless of what type of music you like, it’s so much better when you have a person to share it with. Because they actually appreciate art. They have taste. Nobody else gets you. Queue lofi hip hop beats to feel angsty to.

14 — The friend that shares your taste in movies/TV/sports

Because you guys bond over yelling at the TV. These are the people you’re watching the Superbowl with. Or you guys are binge watching The Bachelor in your pajamas. Or you’re meeting up during the holidays to watch Hallmark movies and drink spiked hot chocolate. That last one usually leads to the most yelling, in my experience.

15 — The friend that pushes you outside of your comfort zone

There’s a song called “The River” by Garth Brooks. And at one part he sings: So don’t sit up on the shoreline. And say you’re satisfied. Choose to chance the rapids. And dare to dance the tides. First of all, can we just appreciate country lyrics? So good. For this one we’re talking about the friend who’s the first one on the dance floor. And they’re dragging you with them. They want to see all of the places. They want to have all of the adventures. This friend inspires you to do the thing that would either make you ridiculously happy or temporarily not-so-happy (but you’re getting a good story out of it either way!). Ask for a raise. Go sky diving. Text your crush. Sing karaoke. Travel to a country where you don’t speak the language. “Release your inhibitions! Feel the rain on your skin!” (Natasha Bedingfield). To all the friends that encourage the rest of us to live our lives to the fullest, life would be so plain without you.

16 — The friend that makes you feel comfy

This friend is extremely valuable. They got you with the chicken soup and Gatorade when you’re sick. They will bake cupcakes on your birthday. They give the best hugs. In a zombie apocalypse you would probably hide out at their place because they make you feel safe. Chances are this friend is your mom.

17 — The friend that boosts your self-esteem

They like your style. They like your vibe. They laugh at your jokes. They love your cooking. And they will make sure you know it. These friends make you feel good in your own skin. They will shower you with love reacts and empowering comments on Facebook and Instagram. And LinkedIn, for good measure. When you’re together in person, you can be yourself around them. They like you, for you. Random tangent: Something I’ve been interested in recently is the self-esteem vs. the ego. Everyone has an ego at some level, but it doesn’t really serve us. It’s just this random addition that comes with the package of being human. When we learn to ignore our ego, we become lighter and more free. It allows us to become the best version of ourselves. The good thing is, we don’t need to rely as much on our ego when we have a high self-esteem. So a good way to drop the ego is to focus on increasing our self-esteem. More on this in my other posts.

18 — The friend that is savage AF

This is the friend that makes fun of you. And they are laughing at you, not with you. But it thickens your skin. Keeps you alert. Keeps you humble. And you’ll get your revenge. You’re just waiting for the proper moment. TO STRIKE. The best part about this friend? They got your back if there’s anyone out there who’s actually trying to hurt you. Together, you guys are not ones to be messed with.

19 — The friend who inspires you

You are a person with potential beyond what you can even imagine. Why is it that so many of us don’t realize our full potential? It’s because of the invisible limits around us. The first limit is our mental limit. A.K.A. the voice in your head that has already decided what you’re good at and what you’re not good at. The second limit is the societal limit. That’s the one that forces you to fall in line with what everyone else is doing. You do what society says you’re supposed to be doing. But when someone breaks away from those limits, they become an inspiration for the rest of us. You need a friend who will take things to the next level. They don’t care what people say they can/can’t/should/shouldn’t do. When you have a friend who sets new trends, blazes new trails, and breaks the status quo, they’ll inspire you to do something amazing with your potential. And then you inspire someone else. And it’s like, a chain of inspiration. And that’s how humans become more and more advanced. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

20 — And finally, the friend that grounds you

Because we’re all just little specs of consciousness moving and grooving through the cosmos. Right? Life truly is a crazy adventure filled with good things and bad things. And sometimes amidst all of the excitement and chaos, you need a friend you can call, meet up with, and grab a beer. Because on some days you don’t need to take life too seriously. On some days you can let it all go.

And there you have it! These are the 20 types of friends that I believe everyone should have. If you noticed I had a little pattern going with this list, it’s because I like the idea of surrounding yourself with people who balance each other out. I’m kind of like Thanos in that I want everything to be perfectly balanced. So what did you think? Are there any friends you would add? Let me know!